it will be okay
October 1, 2020

Staying Positive

By Ange's Table

Morning. How are you doing today?

Are you always positive?  Do you have days that you just ask “Why?”  I’ve been having a lot of days like that lately.  Truly, it’s been a real struggle.

Recently, I had to remove pork and beef from my diet.  If you have followed along with the blog, then you already know that the foods that I can eat are very few.  It has been hard.  I try really hard to live a clean, healthy lifestyle.  I have many food allergies, so I cook 95% of everything that I eat.  And I have a repetitive diet.  Its a real struggle sometimes to figure out how I am going to make the chicken breast and sweet potato today.

And now I have developed something with my skin. When you try to do everything correctly, and things still go wrong, it hurts.  A lot.  

It’s getting hard to stay positive about my health.  Sometimes I think, why go through all of this.  So what I was 25 lbs heavier.  And I took medication for acid reflux, and needed medication for high cholesterol.  At least I was able to go out and eat like a normal person.  Enjoy time out with friends, instead of every time having to again explain why I can’t just taste a little.  Or the fear that a new restaurant that doesn’t know me, will do something wrong.

And I hate that I have to spend money on food that I probably won’t like.  Who wants to go out to dinner for a dry piece of plain chicken breast, and plain steamed broccoli?  Mr. Table and I used to go out to eat all the time.  We would go with friends, order lots of food to share.  Have drinks and a great time.  Now I get scared if someone sticks their fork on my dish if they have been eating something that I know will make me sick.

I try to remind myself to be thankful that I am still here.  I am breathing and 6 feet, well maybe only 5’3″, but I am above ground.  I have a husband that I love beyond words, and I know loves me back.  I have the most amazing son.  A best friend in my cat.  A beautiful life with a family that I love, and loves me in return.  

I will overcome this.  What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger, right?  I must be Mrs. Hulk.

I pray you are all well.  Thanks for letting me vent today.  I’ll have a recipe for you next time.