October 15, 2020

Seeing Family

By Ange's Table

Good morning.  How are you doing today?

Have you had a good week so far?

I recently had the opportunity to spend time with my extended family.  One of my cousins is expecting her first child.  Normally only women attend baby showers, but this time there were a few men there.  The dad, siblings of mom to be, cousins and my husband.  I am so thankful that I got to spend the day with all of them.

Mr. Table and I had a wonderful weekend.  We got to spend time at our campground together.  We got to relax, see some friends, and just enjoy a day without any responsibility.

Sunday we woke up early, took care of our chores, had some breakfast, and headed out to my aunt’s house where the baby shower was being held.  I even baked Rainbow Cookies  before we left for the weekend, so that I had something sweet to share.   

Even though I come from a HUGE family, I have never done well in large crowds.  Being around a lot of people gets to me after a while.  It can be very overwhelming, especially when you are in a large Italian family like I have.  I know they all love me, and have nothing but good intentions, but sometimes its very hard to be in that situation.  It has gotten worse as I’ve gotten older, and COVID has really had a huge impact on my socializiation.

So Mr. Table and I get in the car, and head out.  We already discussed if there were too many people, or if I felt uncomfortable, we would not stay.  I had already discussed it with my cousin who was helping to host the party as well.  We were all in agreement I should do what I felt most comfortable with.

During the car ride over, I had a conversation with myself that I could do this.  It was going to be my first time seeing some of my family in months, some not for about a year.  I can do this!

So we park the car, walk up behind some of the other people who were attending the shower, and wait to go inside.  I literally got inside my aunt’s door, and had a panic attack.

There had to be about 20 people standing in front of me, and I felt like the walls were just closing in.  I couldn’t breathe, my mask was making it harder.  My vision started to get all spotty.  So I ran outside.

I can’t believe it.  I had an anxiety attack, going to my aunt’s house.  Thankfully Mr Table was with me.  I went outside, cried a little, and took many deep breaths to calm myself down.  My aunt, and two of my cousins came outside to make sure I was okay.  They had a table set up on the deck out back, and told me I did not have to walk back inside the house at all the entire day, if that is what I needed.  

I was able to calm myself down, and sat at the table out back.  It took me over an hour, but I finally relaxed enough to enjoy my day with the family.

Over the course of the day, I felt more comfortable.  I went inside a few times, keeping my mask on the whole time.  I was able to walk around the house and see what a wonderful job they all did decorating, and baking and cooking.  But most of all, I was able to spend time with some of the most important people in my life.  

Because we don’t get to see each other as often as we would like, the time we do get to spend together is so precious to me.  I love you all, and thank you for helping me get through the day. Being there to celebrate the new life that will be joining our family are the best memories we can make.

Have you gone to any larger family gatherings yet?  How do you handle being in different situations?

Leave us a comment below, or tag us on Instagram @Anges_Table.  You can find us on Facebook at Ange’s Table.  We look forward to hearing from you.